sometimes i wonder if a heart can be burst like a balloon

if i were to stab a pin, 

would blood come gushing out?

or would it bubble out slowly

and stain my skin 

until it got painted

deep 

crimson 

red?

sometimes i wonder if a heart can be cracked like a glass

if i were to shove a knife,

would it split open?

or would it shatter slowly 

and crumble inside my chest 

until it dissolved 

bit

by

bit?

sometimes i wonder if a heart can be crushed like an orange

if i were to squeeze it 

would it burst suddenly?

or would it deflate slowly

and pulse in my palm

until it dripped

down 

my

arms?

sometimes i wonder if my heart stopped beating 

but then i feel the pounding in the middle of the night 

feel the clenches and aches

feel it jump a bit 

every time i hear 

your 

name 

i wish it did…

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So this is the second free choice that involves hearts? Cool. Totally not crazy here.

The inspiration for this one was probably from the amount of times that I have stayed awake at 3 am these past few months. For some reason, when I try to sleep, I often become hyper aware of my own heartbeat, and I can feel it beating. It’s almost unsettling; to think that this small organ that seems so breakable is what keeps me alive. It’s also supposed to keep a consistent rhythm, but when I concentrate on it, it gets faster and faster, until it races and leaves me almost breathless. But I must be imagining things because here I am, sitting comfortably in my chair, unaware of my heartbeat, typing about it. Hearts are weird, man. Sometimes, they remain calm and idle. Other times, they shock you a bit, as if reminding you how vulnerable you are, you foolish mortal.

Anyways, onto the poem (if you could call it one). It’s pretty self-explanatory— the first three stanzas are about different ways that you could physically break your heart, while the last is wishing that it would break itself. Why, you may ask? I’m not sure, either. These are forbidden thoughts, after all, because you aren’t supposed to think about dying and the like, even though it is everywhere. And, yeah; sometimes I really do wonder what would happen if my heart stopped beating. Perhaps then, I’d feel eternal peace… 

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Featured Image: https://imgur.com/t/heart/gj1eaqm by @anaecharri